The last thing I see before I’m eliminated is a glimpse of the mad scientist’s white lab coat and his crazed, small-toothed grin. Unfortunately, all the derisive celebration made me oblivious to Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty, who snuck behind me and shotgun blasted me in the back of the head before I could even finish the “drop it” portion of Huey’s dance. I’m a giant banana man in a three-piece-suit dancing over the dead body of Lara Croft that suddenly bursts into polygons as she’s teleported away. I bust out the “Pop, Lock & Drop It” emote to celebrate. I almost feel regret as I take aim with the pistol and put her to rest before she even has time to enjoy her prize. Lara Croft from Tomb Raider is stooped over a Loot Chest stacked against some steel shelving in the corner, her eyes wide and her face gleaming in the golden glow as she opens it. Should I sneak inside, get the jump on them and rightfully claim their building materials, ammo and weapons? Or should I run, accumulate some more mats and weapons and fight when I’m better situated? The strategy I use in every encounter with my enemies will determine my fate. Someone’s rummaging around inside the gas station and the only thing separating us is a wall of brick and the crashbar door to my right. I take the semi-automatic pistol waiting for me there, jump down from the roof, mantle over a chain link fence and then use my Peely Pick harvesting tool – what else, but an enormous, half-peeled banana attached to a banana tree stick – to bust down some Slurp Barrels leaning against the side of the gas station for a quick spate of shield. I’m looking for someplace a little quieter I change directions, pull my parachute and steer my glider to the roof of a gas station northwest of the Shimmering Shrine. Do I land somewhere crowded, get into the action early, and potentially eliminate as many enemies as I can from the get-go? I skydive stem-first towards the towering skyscrapers of Tilted Towers but change my mind at the last moment when I spy too many other Loopers floating their Gliders to the exact same spot. First, I have to decide on a proper landing spot. ![]() ![]() The answer to my question will have to wait as I drop from the Bus, this time as a six-foot anthropomorphic banana wearing a James Bond suit. It’s a question I ask myself as I leap from a Battle Bus 2,500 feet high in the air a feat I’ve performed countless times now to begin the Battle Royale which pits me against ninety-nine opponents all looking to be the last man, woman or thing alive on an ever-diminishing island, but one which somehow remains no less exhilarating because every match is slightly different from the last.
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